The Lover is not a Lover, He is a Pig

If i was leaner, thinner

muscles bulging all over

Biceps, Triceps, abdominal muscles

in perfectly fit clothes

If i was prim, formal

welbred

with a bow-tie, classy shoes

mouth vomiting foreign accent

if i was rich and able

i could buy you

your happiness

If i was stylish, fashionable

you can easily display

like an earring or a dress

If i was normal, conventional

Who could always say yes

and follow you like a dog

you can always drag

If i was easy, smooth

So i could agree with all of your friends

And talk to you about relations

im always confused

If i was organized, arranged

without stain

pure

Like a prince

in your favorite films

If i was more sophisticated

and knew all the things in this world

if i was able to take you there

If i was clean

well shaven

without a trace of fat and sin

I could be more of a Lover.

Clostridium Tetani

Hubo akong tumatako sa palengke
Ang tsinelas ko’y sariling balat na nagbigay
Pag-asa sa libo-libong itlog ng mga uod na nakakalat
Sa sahig ng pabilihan ng isdang tabang.
Ginawa kong tarak-tarak ang nga hasang na
Pinatangal ng mga bumibili ng Tilapia, madugo, malamig.
May hinlalaki sa tyan nito.
Ilang sandali pa ay inutusan akong magbenta ng kamatis at kalamansi
Ayaw ko sana, hinampas naman ako ng matipunong kamay
Huwag ka mag-alala, hindi naman ako nasaktan,
sanay na
Palibot-libot, pa ikot-ikot sa mga tindahan, sa palengke
Isinuot ang short na basahan at apron ng nagluluto ng double dead na tinola
Kamatis kayo! Kalamansi! Kwarenta ang kilo! Cellophane!
Walang bumili, at takot akong magpakita sa kanya at kanyang matipunong kamay
Ilang beses na rin akong hindi naka pag agahan eh, ay! tanghali na pala
Kaya, tuloy parin sa mga maputik na daanan, may mga bubog, at tae ng aso
Tuloy sa madungis na mundo at mga baklang nagbebenta ng malalaswang pinirata
Bawal daw ang bata.
Tumuloy ako sa gulayan
Bulok na ang mga gulay, tinurukan lang kasi ng
Formaline ba yun? Ewan. Kamatis!. Kalamansi!
Mura lang ang Patola at monay dito, kahit saan pwede
Murang mura lang! at may nag mura na naman sa akin
Sa wakas, may benta na! at agad akong bumalik, sabik na sabik
Dahil medyo lubog na ang araw sa kanluran
Hindi na gaanong mainit at pwede na akong makipaghabulan
Sa mga kaibigan kong muslim.
Kumaripas at nakipaghabulan ako sa mga asong nanlilisik ang mata at naglalaway
Sabik na akong kumain ng mga isdang hindi nabenta
Budburan ng suka at asin, solb na!
Itatapon na man din lang. madugo at malamig.
Ngunit! “P****g *n*!” – Ang sabi ko. Bakit? Wala ng tao?
Iniwan na naman ako ni Amain, nagsara na ang tindahan.
Ang aga naman nyang nag sara? Baka nakalimutan niya lang ako
Tulad ng dati. Matutulog naman ako kasama ng mga Daga, surot at ipis
Sa maginaw na sulok sa pabilihan ng Karne.
May mga puting anak ng langaw ng nginunguya ang kalyo ng aking paa
– anim na oras-
Nagising akong pinagpyestahan ng mga nabanggit na kasama
Namula ang paanan at kilikili ko
Masarap ang init ng araw, nakasakay sa isang truck
Mga naka unipormeng hindi naman pulis ang mga nakita ko, kasama ko, kasama namin
San ako patungo?
“Sa DSWD!” Ika ng isang batang madungis tulad ko.

The Eyes of Aidalor

Her eyes was the lake untouched
In some unknown wilderness
Clear and pacific and deep
He may lose his soul in it

Her eyes reflected Suns light
Blinding and glaring to his
And everyone succumb too
For clearest lake was her eyes

Her eyes that gained scrutiny
To the ones whose tastes are high
Judged more than its translucence
For there's another facet

Deep as its silence forewarn
Be careful not to gaze long
So you would not share his fate
Of drowning in its abyss

Lake of liquid diamond
That corrupted likes of him
Wanted an ounce for a sip
For knowledge of her allure

Revealing moons gleam at night
It became one of the stars
Nearest, loveliest to him
Who desired to own the lake

The lake; Its impermanence
Is for us to look into
No one can have dominion
To the eyes that was the lake

My Friends, My Fiends

My friends, release me from this confinement
Pained i am in this undefined sorrow
And my weakly soul cringes on torment
Don't stray me in your folly tomorrow
Tonight's enough, your company made me
What i am now, the most disturbed being
The sailor who lost himself at sea
You all is the sea, the waves came splashing
Coming, ruining my thoughts and my life
Coloring dull the fantasies of mine
Straying me in this foolish shore and strife
Getting none, but a token; soul unfine
My friends, my fiends you can now release me
Pained i am in your folly; waves at sea

A Friend's Party

My friend sleeps there, sleeping still
On that bed, no he's not ill
He just needed time to rest
For the sun sank in the west

Came the weakly morning beam
They offer flowers to him
Strong scent that's not of Roses
It fills all the guests noses

Photograph, blurred and pallid
His wooden bed is solid
Lively chatters from out side
Insects and the light collide

Food enters the mouth tasteless
A glass of milk falls careless
Camera flashes and took
The last pages of the book

This is how he took the bow
The chatters gone aloud now
Same are merry, some were sad
In the party of the lad

Soon the setting beneath the tent
Altered, Lenten-like it went
Soreness of sympathy mount
In the guests for his account

A heart burns in great sorrow
Forever gone tomorrow
Those utterance remain
A friend is never the same

In loving memory of Gerniel Bañas
a friend, classmate, seatmate. a brother

Dine with the Caviar Eaters

Dancing lights of green and blue
They reveal what these sluts do
In this cheap, cursed piano bar
They act and talk like porn stars

These sluts, they want to be raped
By these men who look like apes
With majority of gays
Fishing out the drunken males

They're exposing butts and breasts
And they said they need no rest
Till tomorrow they will dance
Fornicate if there's a chance

Shaven brows and shadowed eyes
Their undies attract the flies
Same as the bale prostitutes
Are their rotten attitudes

More butts and breast, they expose
Its a show, they are the host
On the stage, they are so proud
To lead the ignorant crowd

If i could only throw this
Glass of water to that miss
Who sings so annoyingly
She thought it made me happy

Gays and men becoming gays
Sit around and talk their ways
Of topics, i so disgust
I gave none, not even trust

In my sight, they wore all white
Girls they chose those really tight
Skimpy gowns, they look like clowns
Thick foundations weigh an ounce

Said they're pretty, they are not
I say they look like their butts
All exposed for the many
And to keep the boys merry

Very merry, but not me
I'm sober for what i see
A perfect theme for my work
Though they see as a jerk

Jerk indeed but not like you
You braggarts i cannot chew
Guys you suck and and stir my mood
Continue bragging you're good

In your walk, your chin up high
On you gown or with your tie
You enjoy this wretched night
While others curse your plight

Wish to stop this night so long
in this crowd i don't belong
In this trade, i can be good
Be like them, i never could

I smile, I have a secret

I smile, i have a secret
No one knew it, maybe you
Hidden deep and locked secure
Only i can give the clue

I smile, i have a secret
Do you really have to know?
Its been with you all the time
They, even me dare not go

I smile, i have a secret
A dark matter in a core
Burning, swelling over time
A corrupted soul it bore

Now it lay dormant no more
The darkest of energies
Found their way into the core
Concealed in flesh and of glee

Turbulent in its restrain
Like steam trapped inside a pot
Or acid on virgin coke
Its a cancer that is not

How it longed for its release
From its closed obsidian shell
Forged by disguised emotions
Of the bearer of the shell

Its growth i cannot impede
Its depth and darkness innate
Light itself diminishes
Before its vehement state

It remained, but breathes no air
For i will never forget
Its rumblings, i thought was pain
I smile, i have a secret

Still it haunts my potent soul
all of me it wants to get
Violent if its released
I smile, i have a secret

Take heed of what you don't see
Behind a thorny thicket
Are unknown uncertainties
I smile, i have a secret

Of year old Poems

How long have i been writing?
Sarcasms, accounts of hate
Melodious verses singing
The streets, did it echoed great?

In the streets do people hear?
Begging thoughts outside their gates
Locked by ignorance and fear
Where reality awaits

The same poem that i wrote
This very date, i ponder
Been so long i swore an oath
To use my pen and wander

Wandered like an albatross
Or a Monarch butterfly
Round the world i came to cross
With the power of my eye

Still that oath i never broke
Though sometimes my fingers tire
My thoughts sometimes drifts like smoke
Quickly gone, but hard to hire

Like the playing of our dreams
Every time we try to wake
Recollecting all those themes
Few remain for us to take

These verses sprinkled with rhymes
Are just coming out of dates
When given unusual climes
What future in me awaits?

The Road To Florence

Worry not lost wanderer
Keep your pace on the dark road
It strayed many travelers
Long ago before you showed

Long ago through tongue twas passed
By folks, who now rest below
Now its realized at last
Your entering soul don't know

Muddy rivers comes to trail
The residents of the woods
Slugs and caterpillars hail
Through the fog you sounding boots

Light rarely reaches the floor
Deprived Venus flytrap cries
For sunlight for food and more
The edible mushroom dies

The damp mosses welcome him
A carpet of evergreen
The fog of dusk and the dim
Invoke creatures who are mean

His jacket made of weak hide
Shields him from the biting cold
As forked trails before divide
Deep within the forest old

River ran beside the trail
As he ventured deeper in
The groves echoed by nymphs wail
Enticing the strayed within

River undisturbed cascade
Cloudless waters that carry
A lone, sleeping, drifting maid
Whose pale hands held a daisy

In the fainting shafts of light
Frailty defined the astray
The trail, his blurring sight
And the maiden sailed away

Sailed away in the shadows
Of an unending river
While the trail slowly narrows
Hopes for the lost traveler

In his mud-smeared pantaloons
Striving, limping on his weight
The prelude of nightfall tunes
Reminds the last time he ate

He felt his weight heavier
Than he is a while ago
There's something in the river
That's forbidding him to go

Then came across his vision
Though it's blurry he defined
Majestic apparitions
Aged trees whose thickly vined

This forest has conceived them
To save its virginity
And with them are the children
On their hollows security

Twinkling lights before him now
Enchant him as they flutter
Playing on those misty boughs
His consciousness they shatter

All those lights lured him within
And he tread them trail no more
Quest for home is growing thin
Venturing the unknown lore

Carrying his unsound mind
Through the barbed vines on the ground
It savored his flesh behind
Though he's coiled and nearly bound

In the clearing all was torn
It was his numb skin that cried
For warmth of light like in morn
That the hidden sun denied

His piteous blood the earth gain
On his worn out knees he fell
Now that he is lesser sane
Resign to unconscious spell

On his own puddle of blood
He faded and strive to crawl
With each slip, he kissed the mud
When he falls he tasted all

An endless torment tonight
His soul and insanity
Enticed him into the lights
A hovering fantasy

Spectators are in the boughs
Following his bloody trace
Smell of predators arouse
As he reached a hollowed base

A hollow on the grand roots
Cavern of intertwining
Ancient wood that bore the fruits
And now a stranger dying

On the warmth of its bosom
Summoning his breath
Unaided in the dark some
Attended by lurking death

His flowing blood has gone cold
Cold until it flowed no more
His eyes lost its gleam and told
Death to take him to that door

As soon as darkness consume
The lair that became a tomb
It celebrated with gloom
The forests' possessive womb

A Letter to Rakma

Dear Rakma, greetings of peace
The reason i send you this
Is because i want to know
What transpired from long ago

What has become my friends lives?
Did they marry many wives?
Or my beautiful girl-friends
On early motherhood tends

The town, does not look like one
Streets that i once filled with fun
Home that has a lizards den
I was just a toddler then

How about my favored trees
Where i gather the fresh breeze
The clubhouse that made safety
when the rabid dogs chased me

Hope that they remained standing
As a trace of my molding
In this cauldron known as life
I'm casted to endure life

Once with my young spirit gay
Remember that shameful day
I expected rain, I'm nude
I ran in the neighborhood

Ive garnered punishment there
And since then, i did not dare
I'm six, what can you expect?
Play all day is my subject

We did became acquainted
At school where we were tended
By teachers who sell candies
That bored present cavities

Voices rung the gloomy school
Ponds we made our swimming pool
With my ant-baited hair strands
Fish ant-lions in the sands

I was allergic to frown
Then i wondered in the town
On holidays and weekdays
Time when there were still less gays

The bridge reminds me of rain
Butt-naked children lose their sane
They dove the river by tens
Oh i wish i had the chance

To mingle with delinquents
Was tabooed by my parents
Commit my first mortal sin
When i was curios of skin

I remembered, when i stole
To my fathers pocket hole
Every morning while he slept
To the billiard house i crept

The billiard house had a store
With my pennies, i bought four
Bubble gums my molars chew
Sun lighted the morning dew

When weeks fell on Friday night
I trod the darkness despite
Uncertainties, i cant see
To watch power rangers free

When Saturdays came, i pay
Ten pesos to have my way
On a small room with bodies
Focused, absorbed by movies

Remembered the hut behind
Our house, with girls who are kind
I enjoyed their cute ceiling
I sat in there while talking

I had come across a house
Owned by a man with no spouse
Senility hunched his back
Father respects lolo Jack

I loved our old fashioned home
Shared with faeries and a gnome
And the lizards underground
Our left-overs there they hound

Every time i turn my head
Sometimes when I'm in my bed
Listening to radio
Apparitions come and go

My plastic table and chair
Where i color hares and bears
From my bought coloring book
The shadows behind me look

Are they visitors who peak?
My prayers and peace they seek?
Are they witches on that hut
Waiting, to have my hair cut

Every time my mother wakes
In those past mornings to make
Sustenance for the day long
And at school it made me strong

It made me jump and tumble
On schools grass field with humble
Grasshoppers, skipping steadfast
They feared I'll make them my breakfast

Remembered my stolen toy
God forgive that deprived boy
I treasured my childhood tears
Now succumb on present fears

When I'm ill, my parents sent
Me to brace efficacent
Of a century-old hand
She is known throughout the land

Perpetual flowers still blooms
On my craniums thousand rooms
Lantern plants, hibiscuses
Plants with unknown genuses

My father and my mother
Our maid and baby sister
In a house i cant forget
Where parts of my roots i set

Those archaic photographs
That ambered my sobs and laughs
Ceaselessly i recollect
Times, that i can't reject

Memories my head retained
Lingering and most remained
We just cant escape the past
Like shadows who always cast

So i think, this is the end
Of my lengthy letter friend
Tully yours, farewell it goes
The complimentary close

The Walk, the Night, and the Broken Hymen

As i pace another night
I seek the stars and the moonlight
There was none and all was black
And there was no turning back

Once again i am detached
And i feel like being watched
As i pass each light post faint
Whose light can honor a saint

Halfway to my rendezvous
There was nothing else to do
But keep walking by a church
Hope that no ghost will emerge

Past the church, another one
there were dogs, i did not run
though their canine teeth are shown
Still they grant me safe sojourn

Walking with moon's company
And the brilliant starry sea
Was the night, that ruled them all
For i saw innocence fall

Houses, once lighted by wicks
Built in nineteen forty-six
My lone procession they take
But a house still is awake

From the window, there i saw
they're uncovered, it was raw
What do people do when cold
Ti's the tale the window told

What has come, my decent walk?
That incite unconscious talk
All the days that God create
Why'd he put me in this fate?

Watch her face, i cannot bare
She's the girl with flowing hair
Who often sit beside me
On the lounge of library

With a kind, Cherubic face
I can't believe she'll embrace
A deed so base, Why'd she sell
Her fragile body to hell

Honest window showed me clear
How her eyes produced a tear
That twinkled for my eyes
To behold what truly lies

Pale, the color of her skin
Laid on that altar of sin
Quenching all a stranger's thirst
She think not her honor first

Soul of her sorrowful song
To my ear it whispered long
Her lover, a love he keeps
On a distant room he sleeps

The Volcanic libido
Disturbed the tress' sleeping crow
Does she really need his pay
For her studies in the day?

Her exhausted body frail
Mercied by a baby's wail
On that wooden, creaking bed
On a room that's painted red

I see the ceiling perspire
From the steam of this satire
Ascending from where it's borne
On her body's' tender torn

Stillness of my piercing glance
Still on her enduring dance
On a mattress colored beige
Shocks and tremors; she engage

Cold midnight breeze, freeze my ear
Body shivers not in fear
Invokes my pity and hate
Seen on that window's narrate

Must continue, i decide
Leave the window for the stride
So long our sins for tonight
She failed to switch off the light

Minsan Sa Silid Aklatan

Sa aking pag-iisa
Kasama ang mga aklat
Nakatiwang-wang sa lamesa't
Inaamag ang pabalat

Ang pahinang maalikabok
Na naninilaw sa kalumaan
Dinidinig nito ang tibok
Ng puso ko'ng may kahinaan

Sa bintana ko'y tanaw
Ang kaway ng mga dahon
Na sa puno'y ginagalaw
Ng mga engkanto sa hapon

Lagi sa dakong tahimik
Sa mata ko'y nagpatalim
Tumakbo man ang mga titik
At magtago sa dilim

Ngayon sa paglamong marahan
Ng gabi at pagtahan ng ihip
Sa hapong may kapighatian
Ang mundo ko'y sinisilip

Damdami'y walang lungkot
Sa pag-iisang sinadya
Maging hangin may sangkot
Sa pagbuo ng tula

[English]

Once In The Library

In my loneliness
Accompanied by books
Laid on the table
Molds on its cover

The dusty page
Yellowing of age
Hears the heartbeat
of my weak heart

Behind the windows, i see
The waving of the leaves
Of the trees being moved
By Elves of the afternoon

Always on a silent nook
My eyes are sharpened
If the letters should run
And hide in the shadows

Now, the slow swallowing
Of night and the breezes pause
On a lonely afternoon
The world i peak

My gloom less mood
A deliberate loneliness
Even the winds have part
On wielding poem

A Day on the Hourglass

The deciduous leaves fly
Ordered by a lightning cry
And this, I was not aware
Of the seasons passing by

Falling leaves the trees forsake
The decaying premise take
It is done, I can't turn back
They're for the Janitors rake

I am living in my rhyme
In this swiftly, shifting time
For the many walks to walk
On a vast uncertain clime

Nineteen years before the now
Asked myself this question how
Can i keep this youth esteemed
If in times' presence i bow

A Writer's Sea

There is red and there is dead
There are some that sailors dread
Though my own, a peaceful tide
Restless thoughts are churned inside

See the water's never blue
Terns and Gulls are absent too
Not all, loves a placid murk
Summons all i need for work

On this vast colossal sea
Worlds i pass and ramble free
Worlds distorted, so grotesque
Need to write this style burlesque

Always when my body's soak
Fervent waters that provoke
Rageful ghosts that's sometimes bane
On this baleful brood of Cain

Sentiments from liquid pure
On an illness, found a cure
Inquiries the waters heed
Makes up my poetic creed

Below the waves, a forged scheme
By someone whose in the dim
Writing truths that raise the steam
Parallel to precious dreams

You can never see below
Clearly all what made me know
Just like now, its hard to guess
What the pen wants to address

Quiescent no more

Harvest first the master says
Famine stricken throat for days
Brought the end of farmers toil
Again United with his soil

Comfort of a market shade
Home of all the beggars frayed
Talking wounds on fleshless knees
That is what they meant of peace

Collecting broken dreams, a house
Of Harlots forced to work with sows
Make-up hides the swollen ducts
Client undresses and locks

Bustling cars of justice men
Does his job from ten to ten
Meets the youth to sell his drugs
remits to political rugs

Precious vault the greedy owns
Money in his blood and bones
Hunger knocks his shiny Ford
Mocks away the poor ignored

Peaceful yet it harrows you
If justice hides what should you do
For a youth that serves to God
Must you share our Jesus' blood

Blood of love and peace accords
Christian soldiers drop your swords
Wear the cleanest conscience robe
Start with you before the globe

It passed Surmions

Bare are the moonlit mountains
And the sullen glowing trees
With the Moon's carmine curtains
Of clouds swirling as the seas

None escapes unfervent rays
Of incandescent luster
Satellites terminal phase
That never cease to falter

Up there grazing with the stars
Blissful, playing in my eyes
Relief for my wounds and scars
Greatest solace of my skies

Moonlight Ovations

Luna, you were never wrong
Thy beam shines upon me
Tonight i am happy song
Triumph of sagacity

Only you consumed my gain
You're sole witness of my cheer
Never thought my sweats and pain
Will sprout jubilation dear

Ink wasted has brought honor
Investments of a raw mind
Owned a self-proclaimed loner
Sympathy and darkness bind

Despite this eccentric state
Meekness i want to confine
Having this achievement great
feeling no one can define

Footprints on fertile mud

It is Avian choir
Accompanied with crickets
That ring and sing the loudness
Of farmers morning
The nothingness of fog
Brought uncertain squelch
On heel-deep mud to my boots
Careful not to disturb
Sleeping puddles of leeches
In my walk, time passed

The earth mud odors rise
Herons started days work
Fishing on Carabao backs
Ticks bloat of Carabao blood
Like pale berries succulent
Advent of another day
By the ray of golden sun
Glistening of golden seeds
Slowly is the fog undone
Busy farmers before me